My Forty-Seventh Fortieth Birthday
I was born old. You know the thing old guys say to young women to try to get them in bed? “You have an old soul.” Actually, that might be me. I’m the one with an old soul. I think it’s rarely some 22 year-old nailtech in a bikini who’s...
Want To Live Like a New Yorker?
How to live like a New Yorker no matter where you live: 1. Quintuple your rent, unless you are living in San Francisco. If you live in San Francisco, cut your rent by 20%. Tell your landlord it’s for an experiment. Also, isolate yourself to only one room of your...
Tic Tac Toe: The Game Begins
Enough of movies based on video games! I want one based on an old favorite. Open with a scene of a dirty boy drawing a grid in the dirt. Distant bongo drums. A cymbal swells. Tense shot of the boy’s eyes. With the grid drawn, he starts with an O in the...
If Dodge is No Longer Ram Tough, Just What Is?
Sometimes I think America’s problems all get back to the loss of the Dodge brand used on trucks. Like millions of other Americans, I grew up with the confidence that Dodge trucks were RAM tough! It was the spiritual basis of my youth in west Phoenix — a...
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