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This kid is getting a lot of trouble from some, and I think most of it is unfair.


The criticism I see of Jayden Smith reminds me of the people who laughed when Obama suggested that instead of digging for even more oil people just keep their tires inflated. Geniuses on Fox News took that to mean that we’d be driving around on 4-foot tall over-inflated balloons, not just maintain recommended pressures. I forgive them for projecting their cartoon vision on the rest of the world. I mean, they work at Fox News. . .

But a lot of the criticism  of young Jaden comes from people who are either mean-spirited, condescending, or unable to think in the abstract themselves. When Yogi Berra said “It’s so crowded no one goes there anymore” anyone who wasn’t a self-regarding pedantic twat with the native capacity of a six-year-old with ADHD knew what he meant, and some even were called to ponder what his statement said about social movements, conformism, and the maddness of crowds.


“Anything you see in a magazine is fake” — Largely true. Most magazines are supported by advertising. Their content supports a profitable illusion.

“How can mirrors be real if our eyes aren’t real” — Meditation on consciousness not out of place in any first-year philosophy class. That’s where one meditates on such things. Don’t want people to meditate on any big questions? Ok then: Hey! I think I just hear the bell go off, Earl. Someone wants propane out by pump six.

“If newborn babies could speak they would be they would be the most intelligent creatures on Earth” — yes, there is great native intelligence in each of us before it is sullied by cynicism. Babies show great innate cunning. From those origins great things sometimes spring. Sometimes it’s obscured by the accretion of nonsense. How stunning and perfect we would be if we could keep that clear-eyed innocence.

“The Great Gatsby is one of the greatest movies of all time” — He’s sixteen.

“There’s no nutrients in our food/soil/water” — True, many nutrients have been displaced by additives and fillers. Soil depletion is a concern. Minerals may also be considered “nutrients”, and some water lacks them. Generally the purified water consumed in a place like .  . . oh . .  .dunno . . . Hollywood, maybe.

“You can discover everything you need to know in your hands” — This is a restatement of the stoic wisdom in Tennyson’s “Flower in Crannied Wall”, and it holds. If we could really know everything about our hands we would know far more in general than we now do. If we knew their true purpose we probably would — indeed — know everything we need to know.

“Jonah Hill is a genius” — He’s sixteen. And from Hollywood.

“If a bookstore never runs out” — True. Everyone who’s worked in retail knows there are some stocking items that are called “never-outs” that are kept on-hand as critical items. If the truck is late and they don’t have those they close the doors. Also, if an item is stocked and no one buys it, it tends to stay there.

“Most trees are blue” — Most aren’t absolutely green. That would be weird. They skew towards the blue end of the spectrum.

So, Jayden: I’m with you on most of these. I know what you mean. Keep up the good work, and fuck the haters.